Beware Bengay

I know some sadistic doms like to use Bengay/IcyHot/Deep Heat on their sub’s private parts. Apparently a teen athlete died after using too much of it, so exercise some caution since the mucus membranes are thin and more likely to absorb more of the cream’s ingredients. According to this article, methyl salicylate, which is an anti-inflammatory, is the potentially lethal ingredient.

Meeting Mr. P (A Year Later)

(Note: I’d partially written this post, then never finished it because things didn’t progress with Mr. P. Since this is a sex blog with very little sex, and since I met him exactly one year ago today, I thought it would be fun to finish and post this entry. FWIW, today is also the anniversary of when I first starting talking to the Dark Horse. He and I burned up the email wires that day, then I went out and fucked another man! Go figure… A couple days after the events described in this post, I had sex again with Mr. P. That’s the last time I’ve had sex. <sigh>)

Once I got past college, I was more-or-less done with the idea of sex-without-strings. I know it works for some people, but it didn’t appeal to me for a few reasons.

If I’m going to have sex with someone, I want to know them well enough to know what turns them on, and vice versa. So that eliminates your random bar hook-ups. Plus, I’d prefer to be having sex with someone I find genuinely interesting. If we can’t sit down and have a conversation about something unrelated to sex, it’s unlikely I’ll find you interesting enough to sleep with. Lastly–and this is the most difficult one–I’d rather sleep with someone repeatedly rather than having a one-time hook-up. After all, the sex is likely to get better, not worse. But if you find each other reasonably attractive and you can have an intelligent conversation with one another and you’re having sex on some kind of repeat basis, you potentially find yourself headed down a slippery slope. Assuming you’re both single (and I’m not interested in guys who are cheating on their girlfriends or wives), one of you is likely to eventually want more of a relationship than just sex.

And, let’s face it, it’s usually the woman who gets her heart broken, isn’t it?

So that’s why I was intrigued when I read Mr. P’s online personal.

Just Wondering…

I was chatting with a man on IM, and he said to me, “I haven’t had anal sex with a woman before.”

His profile says he’s straight. But that comment, “…with a woman,” makes me pause.

Does anyone else think that most straight guys wouldn’t phrase the sentence that way?

It Makes Me Squirm

I have minimal experience with humiliation play and embarrassment in a D/s context, though I’ve read a lot about it. I realize it’s a particularly personal form of play that requires partners to know one another quite well, because what humiliates one person may *shrug* do nothing for another or, worse, may hit upon deep-seeded issues that neither partner is prepared to address. I could always count on my ex J2 to say embarrassing things to me as soon as we were in elevator with strangers or other situations from which I couldn’t escape. I never found it to be a turn on (nor was it deeply embarrassing), but if he enjoyed it, who was I to argue? Over the weekend, however, I realized that there is one bit of humiliation/embarrassment I’ve recently been subjecting myself to, and it finally dawned on me how much I was enjoying it.