TMI Tuesday #172

TMI Tuesday #172

1. When you sleep with someone, how much or how little contact do you like to have? Not sure if this is referring to physical or emotional contact, but I want a lot of both. I don’t do well with casual sex.
2. What do you think is a appropriate amount of time for a divorce parent to date before introducing the kids to the “new” “special” person in their life? It depends on a lot of factors. If I were a divorced parent, I’d only introduce my child (young or old) to a man I was dating exclusively and expected to remain in a relationship with.
3. Which ONE thing do you wish you had more of in bed… romance, experimentation or foreplay? Foreplay.
4. What do you thinks makes a kiss great? Physical chemistry and experience.
5. Describe your sex life in two words. Not enough.

Bonus (as in optional): Do you remember a time when you were having sex that you smile or even laugh about now? Do tell….

Years ago my then-boyfriend and I took a cruise. If you’ve ever cruised before, you know that you typically have a dedicated room attendant who takes care of your room every day of the cruise. He or she not only makes up the room, but turns down the bed, sometimes delivers room service and handles any special requests you might have. Our room attendant, a man, had been incredibly helpful to us. One night we were skipping dinner to have sex when our room attendant came into the room. (He knew we should have been at dinner at the time, hence the fact that he didn’t knock.) He immediately put his hands over his eyes and started to back out of the room while both apologizing and asking us if we needed anything. Iadmit it, I love food (and I was missing dinner), so I called out to him, “Before you leave, can I have the chocolates that you were going to put on my pillow?” He set the chocolates on a ledge by the door before leaving. My boyfriend burst out laughing and said something, “What a life. I get to fuck you while you have another man bringing you chocolates.”

D/s? D/s!

When I started tagging posts as “D/s” I didn’t realize that it has a different meaning to some people. Apologies if you’ve stumbled across this blog while searching for the latest and greatest in the world of video games. Ooops.

Stolen…

1. Height? 5’4″

2. Have you ever smoked heroin? Never!

3. Do you own a gun? Nope

4. Do you get nervous before “meeting the parents”? Yes, but parents seem to love me

7. What’s your favorite Christmas song? I love Christmas songs! Do I have to pick just one?

8. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Water, or green tea

9. Can you do push ups? Sure, is there anyone who can’t?

10. Is your bathroom clean? More or less

11. What’s your favorite piece of jewelry? An antique Rolex that was my Grandmother’s

12. Do you like painkillers? No, I’ll usually suffer for a few hours because I optimistically believe the pain will go away (and by the time I break down, it’ll be 5 times worse)

14. Do you have A.D.D.? If I was in elementary school today, I’d be diagnosed with it. When I was in elementary school most teachers accurately recognized that I learned a lot quicker than my classmates, and dealt with it appropriately

16. Middle Name? It starts with an E

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
     a. Why am I wasting my time watching the Big Brother feed?
     b. I should really head to the farmer’s market before it gets too late
     c. I want a cupcake

18. Name the last 3 things you bought in the last day:
    a. Lunch at Whole Foods
    b. A bag of M&Ms
    c. Shaving gel

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink:
    a. Water
    b. Green tea
    c. Wine

20. Dream car? A luxury convertible sportscar

21. Favorite Concert? Coachella was pretty awesome

22. Current worry? Finding the time to finishing a big project by Monday

23. Current hate? This weather

24. Favorite place to be? On a ship, sitting on my balcony and watching the seemingly-endless ocean pass me by

25. Least favorite place to be? Standing in line

26. Where would you like to go? Everywhere I haven’t been before

27. Do you own slippers? No

28. What shirt are you wearing? A green cotton t-shirt

29. Do you burn or tan? I try to avoid both! But usually I burn first, then tan.

30. Favorite color? It depends on the context, but I love shades of purple (on my walls, in my clothing, on my slowly fading bruises)

31. Would you be a pirate? Uh, no thanks!

33. What songs do you sing in the shower? Nothing, actually.

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child? Something hiding in my closet, or under my bed. (I’m not sure if I ever visualized it.)

35. What’s in your pocket right now? Nothing

36. Last thing that made you laugh? A funny email I got from a guy on Bondage.com

37. Best bed sheets as a child? Holly Hobby

38. Worst injury you’ve ever had? I’m a bit of a baby when it comes to pain (and fortunately haven’t hurt myself much)…a scraped knee that scarred, a minorly burned hand, a pulled back.

40. How many TVs do you have in your house? two

41. Who is your loudest friend? Gary

42. Who is your most silent friend? Leo

43. Does someone have a crush on you? I hope so!

44. Do you wish on shooting stars? Yes, but I infrequently see them because I live in the big, bright city.

45. What is your favorite book? I’ve read a couple hundred books in the last few years alone. (I keep a list.) It’s hard to narrow it down to just one.

46. What is your favorite candy? Right now, a Vosges Barcelona Bar (milk chocolate with pieces of smoked almonds and sea salt).

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding? Joan Armatrading’s “Heaven”

48. What song do you want played at your funeral? Oh, there’s this hymn that I’ve heard played at several funerals, and I love it…I really should find out what it’s called.

49. What were you doing 12 AM last night? Getting settled into bed

50. If you were stranded on an island what would you want? A survival guide

Sixth Time’s a Charm?

I’ve posted five or six ads on Craigslist in the last couple years. I keep a file of the different ads, all of which describe what I’m looking for, but each is written in a different style. I also have a file of each profile I’ve posted on the various BDSM dating websites. These ads show the progression of my thinking and attitudes toward D/s. I read some of the things I wrote in the early days, and I sometimes amazed at how much my approach and thinking has changed. But I like to keep these old ads and profiles on hand, because often there’s a phrase or description I particularly like, and might want to use again.

The analytical side of me likes to informally track how my Craigslist ads do. If I write a new one and the response is lackluster–or the men who do respond are far from what I’m looking for–I’ll take down the ad and replace it with another one. I recently posted a new ad–one I wrote from scratch, which contains few, if any, phrases or descriptions from past ads. Fundamentally, I’m still looking for the same qualities in a man, and I still describe myself in a similar fashion, but the overall theme is subtly different.

The response has been great.

In addition to saving ads, I also save every response I’ve ever received from an ad. Ah, the glories of unlimited Gmail capacity. If I get an email that sounds interesting, I’ll often search my files to see if the person has responded to a past ad. In some instances, I don’t even bother to read the emails–as soon as I see who it’s from, I file away because I know I have no interest in the individual. (These are usually men who I’ve gone out on a date with, and upon meeting them I realized they misrepresented themselves.)

My newest ad has drawn a significant response from men who have never previously responded to one of my ads. So I must have done something right in this version. How it ultimately turns out remains to be seen. The ad hasn’t been up long enough for me to fully gauge the response, nor have I had a chance to respond to a single email. But I have about 15 messages that may merit further conversation.

Of course, there were some oddities, annoyances and morons.

• I got my first email from an African scammer. I’ve heard that the Nigerians and others prey on people through the online dating sites, but I’d never run into any. You’ll be happy to know that Lazare from Camaroon wants to be my boyfriend! I never thought I would be so lucky.
• A photo tip: Don’t send a picture of yourself, where, visible in the background, is a framed photo of a some girl in a bikini. I’m guessing she isn’t your sister, or your mom! Oh, and a a shot-glass collection does not really qualify as home decor.
• Yeah, right! Gotta love the “dominants” who send a two-sentence email ordering you to send your picture to them IMMEDIATELY, and then they’ll give you their picture, and tell you more about themselves. Oooohhhh…I swoon when I read your note, because you’re obviously a true dominant man. And then, I click the delete button. (Well, I actually file it away in my “no match” folder, but it sounds more dramatic to say that I delete it.)
• Another photo tip: If someone says they’re looking for a partner who’s fit, athletic and/or height/weight proportionate, you probably don’t want to send a photo that shows your triple chins.
• Yeah, right (part 2)! Then there was a guy who asked me to read a particular book in the next couple days so we’d have something to discuss on our first book. Um, yeah…I’ll get right on that. (And that was the entirety of his note to me.)
• Not only was he 10 years younger than me (which is a hard limit for me), but then he suggests, “I would love to make out, and see where things go from there.” (You mean, you’d love to see if I go home with you after we make out?) Sorry, I don’t do “make out” first dates. At least, I haven’t since I was in college.
• Or what about the guy who sends me an email that says (in its entirety), “Your profile it too long. I couldn’t read it all. Please respond.” My apologies. I understand that the three minutes you might spend reading my profile will certainly cut into the time you have available this weekend to read “War & Peace.” I’ll keep my response short and sweet: NO.
• I say a lot of things in my profile, but what to do with the man who emails me and quotes from something I didn’t say in my profile (and have never said–period)? There’s nothing like a cut-and-paste email.
• what about the guy who doesn t use punctuation or believe in periods at the end of sentences and capital letters at the beginning of sentences fortunately those guys usually write very short notes i don t know that i could deal with a longer note because it would give me a headache to try to decipher the message though those guys never seem to have much to say anyway thank goodness

That Was 15 Minutes of My Life That I’ll Never Have Back…

…and it isn’t even accurate!

The Everything Test

There are many different types of tests on the internet today. Personality tests, purity tests, stereotype tests, political tests. But now, there is one test to rule them all.

Traditionally, online tests would ask certain questions about your musical tastes or clothing for a stereotype, your experiences for a purity test, or deep questions for a personality test.We’re turning that upside down – all the questions affect all the results, and we’ve got some innovative results too! Enjoy

Personality You are more logical than emotional, more concerned about others than concerned about self, more atheist than religious, more dependent than loner, more workaholic than lazy, more traditional than rebel, more engineering mind than artistic mind, more cynical than idealist, more follower than leader, and more introverted than extroverted.As for specific personality traits, you are romantic (100%), outgoing (100%), intellectual (74%), greedy (67%).

Stereotypes Prep 92% Young Professional 70% Punk Rock 67%

Life Experience Sex 38% Substances 38% Travel 68%

Politics Your political views would best be described as Liberal, whom you agree with around 71% of the time.

Socioeconomic Your attitude toward life best associates you with Middle Class. You make more than 95% of those who have taken this test, and 41% more than the U.S. average.

If your life was a movie, it would be rated PG-13. By the way, your hottness rank is 60%, hotter than 46% of other test takers.

TAKE THE TEST
brought to you by thatsurveysite

Bad Headlines!

I’ll sometimes browse through the Craigslist headlines to see if there anyone interesting looking for a submissive woman, or to see what kinds of women are posting ads. I’m frequently amazed by the incredibly lame headlines I encounter. Maybe it’s because I have a background in marketing, but I can’t imagine these posters are having much success with headlines like these:

I’m looking for someone… (Gee, aren’t we all?)

Not looking for much (With standards this low, it’s tough to understand why you haven’t found anyone yet.)

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

Your Toes Should Be Pink

You love to dress girly and work your feminine charms, with a bit of an edge.Your ideal guy: Is confident enough to get any girl he wants Stay away from: Jerks who only see you as eye candy

What Color Should Your Toenails Be?

I {Heart} Gordon Ramsey

I admit, I have a schoolgirl crush on Gordon Ramsey. I’d first become aware of him at the launch of “Hell’s Kitchen,” a reality cooking contest where aspiring chefs compete for the chance to run a restaurant under the mentorship of British bad-boy chef Gordon Ramsey.

Ramsey’s known for his ultra-high standards of perfection; he doesn’t restrain himself someone fails to meet his standards of perfection. “You donkey,” he’ll scream at someone who has left him down. Prepared dishes, ready to be served, are flung in the trash. He never fails to turn a mistake into a teaching lesson (even if it’s delivered at a loud decibel). “Shut it down! Shut it all down!” he’ll order when he’s run out of patience with his cooks, and at that, diners are summarily kicked out of his television “restaurant” regardless of whether they’ve actually been fed.

Bad Email!

Always Aroused Girl’s recent post on The Grammar, It Saddens Me inspired me to write a similar post of my own. I get introductory emails from men who read my profile on Alt or CM, and some of the emails just make me cringe because the grammar–or other details–are so bad. Since AAG has covered the grammar, I’ll focus on some other details that annoy me!

Consumer Humiliation

Recently I was at a shopping mall with a friend. It was a way to kill a few hours on a weekend when weather was lousy and we were stuck inside.

Once we got to the mall, we agreed to go our separate ways and meet up in an hour or so. I’m a quick shopper, and I was bored well before our designated meeting time. I saw a bookstore, and wandered in. It wasn’t a Barnes & Noble or Borders–a much smaller, non-chain type store. But I can kill hours browsing through books, and knew it would be just the place for me to kill some time.

I hit all of my “regular” bookstore sections. New literature, cookbooks, memiors…then wandered over to the sexuality section. My eyes were immediately drawn to a book titled Master/Slave. It was a collection of short stories, each written from the perspective of a submissive or dominant. I skimmed it, and immediately decided it was worth purchasing. After all, I can always use some new masturbation fodder.

In Case You Were Wondering…

…I didn’t win the Megamillions lottery. (But do you think I would have told you if I did win?)

Daydreaming…

I heard on the news today that one of the multi-state lotteries is up to more than $240 million. I don’t buy lottery tickets, but when I hear about record jackpots, I always think about buying one, and what I’d do if I actually won a huge jackpot. It’s a fun daydream.

I Guess It’s Been a Long Time

I had an appointment with my OB/GYN the other day. He’s a decent guy, just a few years older than me, and I feel very comfortable when I talk to him.

Before I got undressed, he asked me if I’d had sex since in the year since my last visit, and I admitted that yes, I had, but only about twice with two partners. (I say “admitted” not because I’m ashamed that I had sex, but I wish I could have answered, “On a daily basis with a man who drives me crazy.”)

Next up was the examination, and there I was, dressed in a flimsy gown with a paper draping my lower half, feet spread in the stirrups, my doctor at my feet, his nurse bustling around in the background as the three of us carried on a conversation that had nothing to do with me and my female reproductive organs.

I knew it was coming, but when he touched me, I flinched (and we both laughed). He did the first part of his exam, spun around in his chair to put down the speculum, then back to me, touched me again, and I flinched again. I’m as comfortable as I could be at the gynecologist (without having ever participated in any medical scenes), so I was surprised that I flinched once, let alone twice.

He finished the second part of the exam and pushed his chair back. I asked, “Are we done?” and he replied, “Nope, I have one more thing to do so you’ll have to flinch one more time.”

We both laughed, and I reminded him that I’d already told him about my slow sex life…I’m just not used to anyone but myself touching me!

Is Vince Vaughn Kinky?

Have you seen the Jennifer Aniston-Vince Vaughn movie “The Break-Up” yet? I can’t claim to understand how Hollywood screenwriting credits work, but according to IMDB, the “story” is by Vince Vaughn, Jeremy Garelick and Jay Lavender, but only Garelick and Lavender wrote the screenplay. If you’ve seen the movie, you’ll probably agree: One of the three of them has more than passing knowledge of BDSM. The burning question is, which one is it?

You Know Your Mind Is Elsewhere…

…when your yoga teacher is helping you deepen a pose, and your first instinct it to call out, “Yellow,” when the stretch gets a little too intense.