Through Rose-Colored Glasses

First things first: I’m sorry that I went MIA! But there’s a good reason. The man I mentioned in my prior post? We’ve spent a lot of time together, and I couldn’t ask for a better guy. My feeling for him grow stronger by the day. I just returned from a weeklong trip with him, and I’m already missing him already. (We’ll be apart for a coupld days.) But this weekend we’ll be together again, and I’ll be meeting some of his family. (He’ll be meeting some of mine over Thanksgiving.)

The one thing I’ve come to realize: My previously, albeit limited, experience with D/s hasn’t been real-world experience. On the handful of times that the Dark Horse and I had honest-to-goodness, face-to-face dates (as opposed to hours spent on phone calls and trading emails), I was seeing the world through rose-colored glasses. Everything was wonderful because we didn’t let the outside world ontrude on those 4 or 6 or 8 hours at a stretch that we were together. The same is true of other dominant men I’ve met. The only exception would be my relationship with J2, but while ours was a relationship between a dominant man and a submissive woman, we didn’t use those labels, or incorporate a lot of D/s elements into our interactions.

So for years I’ve been fantasizing, and imagining the “ideal” D/s relationship. I’d forgotten that reality often interferes.

Before I talk about interference from the real world, let me just say that he’s great. (And, yes, I need to come up with a nickname for him.) He’s funny, charming, intelligent, successful, kind, strict, a gentleman and a dominant. And I adore him for being all of those things. And he adores me. But the real world? More often than not, I now realize that it can easily interfere on that “perfect” D/s relationship.

Last night I was lying in bed, trying to fall asleep. We’d had a bigger than normal dinner, and my stomach was aching. I had a butt plug in my ass, and wanted nothing more than to take it out because, as I said, my stomach was aching and (at the risk of providing TMI) I was a little gassy. He and I prefer to sleep in rooms that are different temperatures, so while he was comfortable–and snoring–I was cold. With an aching stomach. And an uncomfortable butt plug buried in my ass. Did I mention that I also have cystitis? Too much great fucking, of course. But that isn’t really much consolation when you have to run to the bathroom every 15 minutes, even when almost nothing comes out. That comes on the heels of me having had a cold and the flu (separately, of course). So I’ve been healthy for about one day during the entire time he’s known me. This weekend I also had an allergic reaction to some new lube we’d bought. We finished having sex, and I ran for the shower. Nothing like a burning feeling on top of already feeling as if your pussy’s raw. Oh, and remember the never-ending period? Yeah, I’ve been bleeding 3 out of the last 5 weeks. So I was lying awake in a hotel room last night, aching stomach, UTI, uncomfortable butt plug, cold, listening to him snore and thinking about the fact that I was probably bleeding on white sheets (because he wants me to sleep naked and it’s sort of hard to believe that I’m still bleeding). But there are a lot of things we have in common. Like the fact that I love to suck cock, and he has a cock 😉 Just one little problem, one I’ve never encountered before. He has a huge cock. So big that I can now understand how you could get TMJ from blowjobs.

I’m not complaining. I absolutely adore him, and could see myself with him til I’m old and gray. I’ve just finally come to realize that even in the best of situations, sometimes the real world can interfere with the best situation! But we’re both making the best of it, and we’re both able to laugh about it.